Awe

My son, actually both of my son's have impressed me all along. They are sweet, funny and exceptionally smart little boys. Trey is 2.5 going on 20 so everything he says is super funny but by now we expect the unexpected from him. Nash on the other hand is still learning to put words together but he is so incredibly smart and intuitive it amazes me everyday. As we know he reads and does simple math and counts by hundreds, 2's, 10's singles etc. etc. Knows his months, days, colors, shapes etc. It's more than just these skills though because he is putting it all together it's not just memorization. He is a problem solver and his wheels are turning all the time. Speech and eating are still are biggest challenges but what amazes me is that each day they become less of a challenge. Yes probably equivalent to a grain of sand but those add up and what it is adding up to is an amazing little boy. His teachers and therapists constantly praise him and even on days that nothing major happens they still say how great he is doing. Everyone sees the progress and as his proud mommy it is a wonderful feeling. In general gross motor activities weren't his favorite. He much preferred going on the swings to any climbing activities. Today in therapy instead of climbing we had him ride his tricycle and his scooter. I had no idea how it would go as it's been a long time since we played outside and again this was not his idea of fun playtime. Not once did he try to go on the swings! He loved alternating between the bike and the scooter and put one foot on the scooter and pulled himself along with the other foot for almost an entire hour! When I went back outside to check on them he said "hi mom" "my bike". I mean... no words for this one. Watching him partake in this was amazing, but hearing him talk about it and want to share it like hey mom I'm riding my bike", was unreal. He is moving fast and like everyone on his team reminds me daily, just because he isn't spouting out the sentences just yet, doesn't mean it all isn't going on in his head. He's such an awesome kid. I'm SO lucky that he's mine! That they both are mine!

Decisions...decisions....

I say at least once a week that I have had to make more decisions in the past 4 years of my sons life, on his behalf, than I had to make for myself in the entire first 18 years of my own life!

We went to our developmental pediatrician this past week and I typically say before we get there, that I'm just going to brag.. Of course I want input and opinion but I know how well my little man is doing so I love to go show the person who set us on our path from the start. The visit went great as usual but of course we are still not at our ultimate destination. One thing that was unexpected was that he didn't love all of my programming choices for next school year. Keep in mind this kids "programs" are more than many famililes with 3 children combined, participate in so yes he liked most of my choices but was afraid that I made one choice that wasn't perfect. It didn't hurt my feelings because he tells me each time how wonderful my choices are and how amazingly well they are paying off. What it did do was send my mind into a frenzy. MORE DECISIONS. I'm now left to ponder more choices for next school year but I'm glad that we have summer just about figured out and that even though it feels like fall is next month because of the pre-planning that is required, it really is only march! I still have to make typical kid/mom decisions for Trey like is he enjoying basketball or drum class (no and no!). He loves doing these activities on his time but not ready for the commitment. It's much easier though with Trey to know that he isn't into it cause he either shows his feelings clear as day or flat out tells me. With Nash it's still a bit of a guessing game but guess on I must. Seems to be working just fine :).

Updates.....as in, where we are today..

was thinking.. I haven't really said where we are, what we are working on etc... At the beginning I had a list.. a super long list. I knew every single thing we needed to work on, I knew that he would put every.single.thing in his mouth and needed to stop that. I knew that he didn’t receptively understand language; I knew that he was a picky eater (not textures or flavors but just limited to random selections that he chose). On and on I knew. Then some time last year I said to his therapists, "I feel like no one is driving his ship", meaning no one person or theme is in charge of his direction and progress. I realized it was because our goals were now more abstract. All of the little quirks are worked out, all of the blatantly noticeable differences are not there anymore. I used to hate going to the grocery store because he wouldn't respond to the cashiers "hello" even with eye contact or a head turn. Now we have "hi" which I begged for, dreamed about etc. etc. Now I have it and of course I'm greedy, now I want full, functional sentences! N isn't clumsy anymore and doesn't fall when a surface becomes uneven as he walks. He can climb up and through things and play functionally on a playground. Rock wall maybe not yet but hey. He no longer eats mac and cheese which I let him food jag on but didn't know enough back then about re-introducing it a short while later so it's now a maybe some day food. Basically we are working on adding more foods to his current variety which includes pretzels, pretzel fish, mandarin oranges, cheese pizza (still round pizza but working on deep dish) American cheese (took his therapists 1 yr) bananas, candy, milk and that is basically it. As of lately he has added applesauce in several flavors and yogurt. Very exciting! Kid will eat a booger but no chicken ;). We are working on expanding his language from just single words (he knows millions of words) to 2,3 and 4 word phrases. He has started requesting preferred items and finally is able to choose from two verbal choices vs visual choices. When he sees things it is easier for him to understand but auditory abilities are emerging nicely. N stays engaged in activities with others for longer periods of time and this continues to expand. He will no engage in activities that are not only his preferred choices and responds consistently to others. As far as making friends, language is a huge part of this process but the kids in his typical class love him and he loves other kids you can tell by body language etc, but he does not yet know how to interact with them .This is also emerging. N is extremely smart and is doing Kindergarten work at 4 years old. He is reading simply words and can do simple math. He loves to spell words and guess words that you spell for him.  Our team agrees that once language and speech are perfected we will have limited challenges. We don't know yet exactly how he will learn but based on how smart he is already with basic academics, the outlook is good. We still have speech twice a week, OT twice a week and music once a week as well as a play session once a week. We have mixed it up many times with therapists and currently have an almost perfect team. We may shake it up once more but the great thing is that N is so easy going and loving, that he easily adjusts to new situations and people. We know we are lucky and that our we are able to work on our challenges and help N grow. N's personality is such a wonderful asset to him because everyone loves him almost instantly. I'm excited to see more progress and watch him grow.

Shout outs and pats on the back...

N has an inclusion shadow at the typical preschool he attends on Thursday and Friday each week. She is so wonderful and after pick up today I decided she really deserves a should out! We got super lucky when they assigned Katie to us and we just found out that she will also be ours for the entire summer 5 mornings a week while he goes to camp at the same place. She is an OT student which is just an added perk but just the way the she is with him and her eagerness to let him try things on his own and become independent really make her amazing. We are so lucky! Also, leading into pat on the back but one more quick shout out first.. N swims every Thursday at the same preschool. It's an amazing feature they offer and he adores the pool. They have a whole routine set up for him and he is doing great with his lessons. My younger son is having a hard time when his teacher takes him to his swim class on Wednesdays. He likes to swim with us but for some reason  has cried the last 2 weeks since he started and refuses to go in. Here is the pat on the back part... after a long day of carting kids to preschool and therapy and running my business etc, etc. I picked up my nephews and packed my boys bathing suits and took them right over to the same pool. All 4 boys went swimming for an hour and played together. I went and asked the instructor who N loves but T is afraid of, if she would stop by and say hi while we were playing in the pool. Here is the shout out part.. Rhonda came over and saw that N was in the play side of the pool and first brought over a barbell and made N show us his skills. She had him climb to the swim side and take his barbell and next thing I know my kid is swimming everywhere all by himself! She is working on taking the barbell away and says it will happen by the summer! She is amazing! On top of how much N loves her and how grateful we are for teaching us such a priceless skill (everyone should learn to swim) she managed to win T over by the end of the visit and now he is excited for his Wedneday class! I pat my exhausted self on the back but I suppose I was really just the driver in all this. Just drove them to the location ;)

So now I'm caught up

I have posted all the posts from my old blog and now one year and one month since my last post I think I'll do a summary of where we are and then I will update much more frequently.
N turned 4 in December. He is doing amazingly well in school and therapy and talking tons more. He spells, knows numbers, letters, can count to 100 by ten's, count in spanish, taught himself to play 3 video game handheld systems (we had to quit cold turkey they were too consuming). He is stringing words together and is requesting spontaniously. The more motivated he is the more the words come so "chocolate ball" or "milk" come out often. As I've always said, I'm greedy and want full sentences and initiation. Truthfully, I am amazed and inspired by the progress my hard working boy has made. He was sick for almost a month (we all were with this and that) and now that he is healthy he plunged forward even more. We are still in the special needs preschool 3 days and my dream goal for June is to qualify for the next step up special needs class but if not we will be just fine. 2 days a week N is at a local preschool with an inclusion support counselor. She is awesome and an OT student so we got very lucky. ( N is in the other room with hubby spelling words. Not Dog but Apple,toes, shirt, paper, etc.) The kid is smart. Really, really smart! We just started with a brand new slp and started back with one of our first slp's and I'm super excited about both. They are getting him at a great time as he is really ready to grasp this language thing! We have 2 OT's and one music therapist. 6 days N is in some type of therapy aside from our time together during all free moments. He also has started eating new things like american cheese that took one year to get him to eat and yogurt which he grabbed out of the fridge yesterday and just scarfed down. Shock and excitement all around! We are happy and love that 3 days a week we have therapy in the house. It is still a flat out fortune to pay for these required services and still plan to make a difference, someday when I have a little spare time ;).

So much accomplished (Jan 2010)

It's been so long since I've updated that it's almost overwhelming to try to recap all that has changed and been achieved in the past several months. Somewhere in there we switched our speech therapist and started special needs preschool. 5 days a week 3 hours a day and what an amazing program and staff. We noticed changes from the first day and continue to still. Since N has school every morning we have had to switch therapy to the afternoon's and with nap etc it's hard. Little brother has sort of an unfair deal with spending his whole day in the car or a waiting room. I only hope that he is OK with anything he missed out on later, knowing that he traded some things so that he could have a perfect brother. We are in speech 2 days per week and ot 2 days, play tutor and volunteer time the other days and music therapy just started. The plate is full but the results are major. Insurance cut off several months before last year ended and it was extremely difficult to pay out of pocket but happy to say Jan 1 has come and insurance starts over. Too bad his new slp who I adore does not take insurance, is one of the highest in town and I want to add a 2nd day with her. Money isn't a factor in this game though it just appears when it's needed to help get him caught up.

N is labeling a ton, he has cut back since he was saying more but his engagement is through the roof and he is completely in tuned with and aware of others around him. Everyone on his team has noticed this difference. It's amazing to experience it. He laughs at my silly dances or his aunts little clapping peek a boo games. He likes doing photo shoots of his wind up toys with my cell phone and viewing the pictures later. His receptive language has come so drastically far that today when his slp said that he is so far ahead receptively,I almost fell off of my chair. This the kid who was 2 yrs behind when he was only 18 mos old!! Today his slp put random pictures on the floor and gave him duplicates to match them up. He completed this task, followed other simple commands and engaged completely in her games with very minimal disinterest. The whole time I'm thinking to myself, what would I have done for any or all of this a year and a half ago when we started this mission.

I know where we are going and know that we have a long road ahead but can't believe we are actually here. The teachers and therapists still run out to tell me about the wonderful things he did that day and they all say so what if he is taking his time learning to talk, he is engaged and in to people and social and amazing. So many people lately have said there is so much in there we just need to get it out here. I describe it by saying that it's finally coming through we just have a slow leak. They all agree. I adore the new speech therapist and her techniques. She has worked with some of the kids I know with the best success stories and that alone makes it fun to get her input but her ideas are just so creative and effective and I'm excited to watch her get the results.

This is such an amazing kid who has come so far and has already made me so proud. I tell him every night that he's the perfect son for me. Even his pretend play skills are evolving and he is aware of and often annoyed with his baby brother. His brother is by far the best therapy I ever could have gotten for him. I should rent him out by the hour. This summer I will put him in a regular pre school camp that has an aide for special needs kids. I wouldn't be suprised but would be thrilled if he did so well that he didn't need his aide, or even if he didn't need her next yr. We aren't ready to potty train, his body isn't ready anyway, so the aide needs to be there for diapers at least. I always say that I cried hysterically at his first birthday , his 2nd I was proud and excited with progress his 3rd I was amazed and his 4th he's going to sing happy birthday with us. The expectation is that by his 5th he will be "there". How well rounded this kid will be because of all of his interventions. That 5th party will be a blow out bash!

I'm so grateful that we chose the path we did and the therapists and team we have are so invested in this. I have no doubt about our future and I'm anxiously waiting the arrival of language. Functional language where he can tell me what he wants and needs. This road is long and rough and some days (especially the last 2 where he is up for 3 hr stretches at a time over night) are harder than others but the progress and the possibilites are unbeliveable. I can't wait to see where this path ends and where the new one begins

A moment of reflection (old post)

Life is exhausting and trying right now. You have a special needs child that should be your max quota of trials but instead you get to deal with insurance and lack of funds etc. The payoff though is the constant and wonderful changes we get to see in our baby boy, every single day. Life is hard but its good. Let it get even better